Articles

The term "frigid" is outdated, although it used to be quite commonly used. It conjured up images of unfeeling, uncaring, icy-cold women who were rigidly unresponsive to demonstrations of physical affection. In fact, the label was meant to describe a sexual dysfunction in which stress interfered with the swelling and lubrication of the female genitals in response to sexual stimulation—a problem that is now called inhibited sexual arousal.

Does this inhibited response mean the woman has no interest in sex or physical affection? Absolutely not! Often she enjoys the contact and is unaware on a conscious level of the source of her fight, flight, or fright reaction.

Rhonda had looked forward to her honeymoon as a time of romance and privacy. She had lived at home until her marriage and had "saved herself" for her husband. When the time for lovemaking finally arrived, Rhonda found that "nothing happened." She liked being close with her husband, but couldn't share his sexual excitement. He, in turn, felt like a sexual failure, and soon the stress level climbed.

In sex therapy, Rhonda's stress was traced to her self-conscious fears of loss of control. She was concerned about what reactions were "normal." She was so busy worrying that she could not stop watching herself and abandon herself to the pleasure of the experience with her husband. Learning that flushing, spastic movements, nipple erections, rapid breathing, and utterances are all common relieved much of her stress.

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